Good questions about life advice invite someone to reflect on choices, doubts and experiences. Do not assume from someone’s age that they want to give advice, or that asking is enough to get an answer. They may prefer to tell a story, listen to you or leave the topic for another day.
About what they learned
- What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
- What do you know today that you wish you had known at 20?
- Which mistake taught you more than any success?
About what matters
- What, for you, makes a life worth living?
- How do you define happiness?
- What would you change if you could go back?
About the future
- What advice do you want to leave your children and grandchildren?
- What do you wish for the family’s next generations?
Wisdom that stays
If the person wants to keep their words, agree on the format, the purpose, who will have access and the review before sharing. Ask for consent before recording and respect the choice to keep the conversation private. A piece of advice should keep its context, without becoming a rule for other generations.
Keep the advice together with the experience behind it
A recommendation may have come from life in a small community, a move to Canada or a very particular family choice. Ask in which situation it helped and when it might not apply. Record the storyteller’s words without turning them into a universal rule for children and grandchildren. The value of the account also lies in the limits and doubts the person recognizes today.
After listening, ask whether the person would like to leave the advice in those same words. Sometimes they want to add an exception or say what they think differently now. A reviewed version can keep that change of perspective. When sharing it with younger people, present the account as someone’s experience, with its own place and time.
Further reading: StoryCorps — great questions.
See also the guide to writing a family member’s biography.
See also ideas for starting a family record.